BDSM event in a club, swinger club, bdsm club, munch and play… you see a Domina (me for example) you have desires for submission, what to do, or not to do? (If you prefer images rather than text, it's happening on the side of my private club, otherwise good reading)
A new article dedicated to the world of BDSM. In the previous one, I explained the different places and events where it is possible to practice and/or meet people in France. I'm going to try to make this article just as practical, but it's going to be a little more personal.

If you know me a little, or if you have already read previous articles, you know that I am a dominatrix (Domina for insiders). In this role, whether in the evening or on social networks, I often receive requests from people who want to be dominated, to try or to become my submissive, etc.

There's nothing wrong with that, most of the time I'm quite happy to be asked and I try to answer if not to express an interest at least with kindness. On social networks it is not easy, already because the messages are often lost in the mass of notifications - which can be numerous - and also often because the message itself can be disconcerting.

This may be the subject of a future article, but in this one what interests me are the interactions in the evenings, I am thinking more particularly of club, swingers or bdsm party, or Munch and Play (See my previous post).

Obviously, these recommendations are taken from my personal experience and are quite personal, it is neither a guide nor a universal truth. That's what I like, first of all, and I think I can think that I'm not the only one.
These tips apply more particularly to people who are submissive or curious to experiment with submissiveness, but may also be suitable for others.

1 - Observe, but not too much…
It's completely normal to watch, observe, admire… and personally I expect to be watched when I go to a party, there are outfits, protocols and practices that catch the eye. But if you watch insistently and our eyes meet several times in the evening, it can be a little uncomfortable (I find) so at some point, if you are interested, you have to take the plunge and come and introduce yourself.


2 - Check that we are not disturbing
Obviously if there is a game session in progress (impact, bondage, pet play, discipline...) we are not coming to interfere, this is absolutely not the time to come and disturb the dominant or the or the submissive unless expressly invited to do so.
If it's a discussion, some judgment is needed to see if it's a private moment (like a one-on-one conversation) or something more open or informal. In the first case, it is better to wait too.
And quite simply, if you're not sure, just ask: "Hello, am I disturbing you?" ; "Can I speak to you?" it's very simple but effective and, for my part, really appreciable.


3 - Be courteous and respectful
So, the minimum is to say hello (or good evening as it is often in the evening) and to introduce yourself "My name is and I am interested in / I am curious about / I really like / I would like to find out more about…" well, any formula adapted to the circumstances. The must, for me, is kissing the hand, I really like this form of greeting in this context. Obviously, formality is required. And, importantly, you address a Domina by saying "Madam", and not "Mistress" which is reserved for submissives who belong to the Domina in question.


4 - Respect the distances
Avoid entering the comfort zone (in my comfort zone in fact) which corresponds to about 50cm of distance between two people. If I want to get closer or if the Domina you are courting wants to get closer, she will certainly do so or invite you to do so. Coming to talk right away while standing very close to the person, if you don't know them, I often find that a bit intrusive.


5 - Be honest
Be honest, with me, but also with yourself. Honest about your desires, your intentions, your desires, your experiences. Don't be afraid to want something and express it clearly, don't be afraid to say it's the first time you don't know. This will greatly facilitate things, and if we have to discuss, to do an initiation, to play... it is very important that we know on what basis we are starting.


6 - Be patient
Sometimes it's not the right time, not the right evening, whether I'm already busy or just don't feel like it. In the absence of a firm and definitive no, be patient and don't hesitate to come back later, in the same evening or in another... and why not try a game of seduction? (Yes, it is sometimes necessary too).


7 - Dare
Dare to come and talk and dare to do it correctly… it's the only way, in my opinion, to hope to establish exchanges and even a quality relationship. Staring at me for too long, appearing behind my back throwing a half-naive half-indirect question without introducing himself and “beating around the bush” about his intentions… with me it doesn't work, and I think I'm not the only one in this case.


I hope that this little article will not discourage you, its intention is really quite different, I like to exchange, to discover, to see new relationships established... but that can happen and work only if the first contact (but also the following) takes place in good conditions and above all leaves a good impression on me.

What do you think ? Do you have a personal experience or an opinion on the subject?

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