BDSM, four letters that arouse many fantasies, secrets or prejudices. Four letters to cover universes and fields of practice so vast that almost each of these letters can be used to designate several words, such as Bondage, Domination, Discipline, Submission, Sadism, Masochism.

This is a subject that will come up regularly in future articles, to explore general or more specific aspects relating to a practice, simple rules or behaviors. In short, aspects that I want to highlight.

For people who watch all this from afar, who would like to discover this environment, explore practices, meet or exchange with potential partners or with more experienced people, a question quickly arises, but where is this happening? ? What are the different types of events and places that exist and how do I get there?
I had the opportunity to discover many events in recent years and again recently this weekend, you can also find the photos and videos that accompany this article if you are subscribed to my private club!
I will therefore try to give an overview in this article of the main places and events, and it is my personal experience which obviously speaks, without claiming omniscience:

Munches.
One of the first and best ways to connect with other BDSM practitioners in your city or area and get yourself to a Munch. Alright, fine, but you're going to ask me what is "a munch". In BDSM, a munch is a meeting, generally quite informal, of practitioners, novices or experienced, to get to know each other, discuss or even share experiences. There is no practice here, no games and, unless otherwise specified by the organizer, generally no dress code either, business attire is required, for the simple reason that most of the time these meetings take place in public, in bars or restaurants that agree to privatize all or part of their space. The discussions are therefore done by sharing a drink or a meal with the other participants without any other obligation or necessity than the elementary bases of good manners, tolerance and respect in society.

The format may vary depending on the organizer and it is important to read the specific rules before going there (there is generally always a prior registration anyway.)

The munches can also be declined in different formats according to the possibilities in terms of places, weather and organization, for example for a walk in the forest, a picnic in a park or even a mini-munch in small groups directly at the organizer.


Munch&Play
It's like a Munch, as described just before, but with more "Play". That is to say BDSM games, be it ropes, impact, bondage... In addition to discussion time, the Munchs&Play allow participants to then indulge in their favorite practices. This is a rather ideal type of event for people who want to discover more concrete things right away.
This assumes a fully privatized place, which is more restrictive in terms of organization. It is already sometimes complex for the organizers to find an establishment that accepts the holding of a simple Munch (when it is simply a meeting of people over a drink or a meal) so to succeed to have a privatized space allowing to play afterwards, it is often very complicated. In the absence of a bar or a restaurant (this is still possible) you can therefore find Munch&Play in places or private rooms of different kinds or even in dedicated clubs.


Libertine Clubs
Libertine clubs often offer a space or equipment dedicated to the practice of BDSM even if these are often quite few in number and their use is often limited in terms of practice due to the cohabitation with a libertine public who is not necessarily initiated to BDSM practices or simply not attracted by it.
Some clubs organize evenings dedicated to BDSM where it is generally possible for regular practitioners as well as for people wishing to discover and learn more, to evolve, play or exchange while benefiting from all the club's infrastructures.
Here, as everywhere else, it will be necessary to be attentive to the theme of the evening, to the possible dress code, to the rules of procedure and obviously to respect for the other participants and their consent for anything.


BDSM club
BDSM clubs are places specifically dedicated to the practice of BDSM. They offer a safe space where practitioners can meet, socialize and above all play. These specific clubs, quite rare and rather discreet, are generally well equipped with equipment (Cross of Saint-André, cages, spanking benches, playrooms, suspension rooms and spaces for role-playing games, etc.) They are usually open for private parties or to host specific events.


Dungeons
These are private places fitted out by their owner to allow BDSM games to be practiced, there are generally a lot of specific equipment and spaces adapted to different practices, whip, ropes, constraint... There are different schools and different uses according to the Mistress or the Master of the place: organization of evenings, rental or partial privatization, organization of lessons or initiation or simply private session.


Workshops, jams or rope/shibari lessons
BDSM but not only. There are also many workshops and rope courses, including shibari. The places in which the organization is possible are sometimes more diversified than for other BDSM practices, we find the places mentioned above, such as clubs or dungeons but also rooms made available as part of munch or possibly also as in the context of other cultural practices (sport, dance, etc.), the world of ropes straddling BDSM practice and artistic and cultural practice.


Love rooms
These aren't BDSM-specific places, but some of those "love rooms" that have been popping up all over the place for a few years now and are available to rent for a night or a weekend are sometimes equipped with a bit of fairly basic equipment… a bed with ties, a cross of Saint Andrew… but this is sometimes enough to have fun with a partner and escape everyday life for a few hours. But there, you will be alone, so be careful if you don't know what you are doing.

Private events
Obviously, a lot of things also happen in private places, main or secondary residences, bedrooms, small furnished rooms, attics, cellars... but that is not really the subject of this article... where I rather wanted to make a small list of accessible places, that is to say that it is possible to find on the Internet and which are open to welcoming people, novices or experienced and not necessarily intimately known.


You will tell me that this description is very interesting (or not) but how can we be aware of the holding of these different events and how to be accepted?
You have to get closer to dedicated sites like Fetlife and specific groups that can be found on Facebook, also do a search for clubs or dungeons in your area because they are very often present on the Internet. This sometimes requires a little research, time and curiosity.

Once you find it, the organizers are generally benevolent as long as you are honest about your search, your experience and respectful of the rules of the place and the event (if not, both ways , it may be better not to go there). In some events, especially during the munches, time is often devoted to introducing and welcoming new participants.

Anyway, no matter what place or event you want to go to, the key word is respect for the rules and for other participants, consent is not an option and you have to make sure you to have - and to give it - before undertaking anything with someone or interrupting an action or a session in progress; but I think that will be the subject of a future article.

I do not claim that this article is exhaustive, I could have forgotten things. If necessary, do not hesitate to leave a comment or contact me directly so that I can correct or complete it.
 

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