“Gendarmerie Nationale, your papers and vehicle papers, please. (Or “Police” for city girls if you prefer or people outside France).

When we start going out under a gender expression that is different from the one listed on our IDs, whether it's occasionally or for a more profound change, getting checked by law enforcement can be for many among us a source of stress and apprehension.

This was also the case for me a few years ago, I remember once when I even preferred to modify my route to avoid a potential control... I did avoid the control but this wasn't necessarily very smart, I had nothing to reproach myself for (if you have illegal things on you or in your car, that's different, but that's not the point).

A little time passed, the experiences multiplied, I also evolved... There were also the multiple confinements and curfews, where, to go out, you inevitably had to prepare to be checked. But strangely that never happened to me during this period.

And then, this year, it just happened to me twice.

The first time was at the beginning of the year, I was going home after spending the weekend with a friend. I was relatively tired, I was hungry, it was dark and I still had a little way to go, it was a Sunday evening when everything was closed. I paused to look for a food vending machine... Google said there was one somewhere but I couldn't find it.

In short, I stop in a quiet parking lot in a commercial area, I had passed a police vehicle a little before. Very soon after I was parked, the police were behind me. It's a female agent coming towards me, her male colleague staying behind.

• "Driver's license, vehicle papers, what are you doing here? Where are you from?"
• I comply. “I come from such a place, I take a break”.
• "Is that really you on the driver's license?" (Watch carefully)
• "Yes yes".

And there, I ask them the question about the pizza distributor I was looking for (really) and if they knew where else to find another one. They tried to inform me and the control became a little more pleasant and less stressful “You have to understand us, we see a car all by itself like that”. “Good luck for the rest of the road, thank you, goodbye”.

The second time was on a Sunday afternoon not long ago. Convertible top down, under the sun, small skirt, with my submissive (without a collar so as not to shock people). Flashes of a car coming from the opposite direction (it still happens, but it's rare).

Nothing, nothing, still nothing... crossing a village... two gendarmerie vehicles and 6 or 7 gendarmes at the edge of the road. Arrived at their height, we are signaled to stop “Nice car”. The papers were in the trunk, I indicate it and I go outside the car, no problem, they are waiting behind.

This time, I take the lead by stating that I am a little different on my driver's license.

• "No worries, I'm used to it" permit analysis "You haven't changed your first name yet?"

(Indeed this is not the case on my official papers, if you had asked yourself the question)
I therefore answer no and follow other questions on the transition, the operation, etc. and he tells me about another transgender person he had checked out before. Well, clearly asking me if I am operated on or not, it is clearly out of place as a question and it does not concern him. But it wasn't ill-intentioned, just curiosity (very misplaced). At least I felt that way and I answered politely, it is quite possible that if it hadn't been a policeman I wouldn't have answered, but hey...

I take the lead again by saying that normally I am missing a point on the permit that they were trying to check, we are talking about the slowness of the administration. He compliments me on my car, I myself mention my broken bumper and I explain why.

Everything is going well, control rather nice although too curious… No question about where I'm going or how or why. "Have a good trip, thank you, goodbye".

Both times it went well.

In conclusion, I would say that it is necessary to start from the principle that from the moment that you have nothing to reproach yourself with, you have nothing to fear regardless of your appearance. Certainly, it is always possible to come across unpleasant people but I do not think that is the majority.

My recommendations for passing the test of control by the police:

• Stay courteous
   
• Keep it natural without appearing to be uncomfortable or want to hide yourself or something.
   
• If there is a problem, on your papers, your vehicle and it is necessarily visible... Talk about it yourself, it avoids finding yourself in the unpleasant situation of a child who tries to hide that he has do something stupid.
   
• If possible, do not hesitate to ask for information or start a conversation, this helps to humanize the situation and at the same time to show that you are a perfectly normal person, that you are living your life and that you do not you're not trying to hide that you're doing shady things ^^

I really think the authorities are used to deal with different situations, it's unlikely you'll be the first person they check who doesn't look the same as on their official documents. They do their job and also prefer everything to go well. So, of course, it is necessarily possible to come across less pleasant people, but the attitude to adopt remains the same for me. We don't stress, we don't hide and we respond politely. This is the best solution for it to go well and quickly.

And you, have you ever been checked? How did it go?
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